It's too bad Trisha's off in Bangkok and had to miss the publication of her own column entry about gyms this week. It's a hoot, absolutely hilarious and completely true... I'm quite sure she modelled the whole entry on me and the other gym girls we're both friends with - and if you've read the entry, you'll know that the caricatures she paints of narcissistic gym bunnies isn't very flattering (that's the point, of course). The problem is, the caricature isn't really a caricature - that's mostly exactly how it is. (And the poor People at the Corner really are left to suffer silently under their baggy tshirts).
So yes, the other gym bunnies and myself squeeze ourselves to the front because just love love love the attention and well, you know just how infatuated we all are with the adorable gym boys (Even if they are all gay). It's true, we have memorised all the steps, so we like to think we're doing our bit of community service by "being a guide" to the People in the Corner. Surely it's better to have someone who knows what they're doing in the front than someone who keeps falling off their step board? We've made friends with all the other Gym Bunnies, and we form a little alliance right up there in the front, preening in front of the mirrors and making eyes at our own fabulous reflections. (If I don't wear my glasses to those gym classes, my stomach looks a little more toned than it really is in the mirror). We wouldn't admit it openly, but we snicker silently in our heads when someone new to the class keeps missing a beat and can't figure out right from left ("right foot! right foot first!").
Arrogant, aren't I? Yes, well, see, that's a part of the whole act of the gym. You don't mean to be a gym bitch - you just end up being one, even if in parody. You don't start off meaning to be mean - but when shed a few pounds, manage to squeeze yourself into expensive lycra-tops and perfect the choreography so you're not fumbling about like a drunk, you feel you have reason to be smug. Gym Bunnies don't despise the People in the Corner for who they actually are, but for the constant reminder they pose of our former, unfit, baggy-tshirted selves.
But anyway, yes, Trisha is entirely right in her article. The Gym is a merciless place, turning even soft gentle girls into prowling mean-spirited cats. And so, in spite of my over-zealous arrogance, I tip my hat to the People in the Corner for not giving a shit about the Gym Bunnies and for having the perseverance to come back to exercise.... because that is the point right? To work out?