Friday, February 24, 2006

Should we stay friends with an ex?

Ahh! The Ex. What can we all say about the subject? Plenty I'm sure.

Some believe that remaining friends with the Ex is the way to go while others think that its certainly not good for the ego and/or self image. I definitely belong to the latter group. This is possibly because I have seen 'friendships' with exes go really, really bad especially when one partner finds a new romance and I have personally experienced it as well.

I happen to think that an ex and a current partner make strange bedfellows - especially when you're caught in the middle! Besides, an ex knows secrets about you and this is a dangerous thing... Guys, your ex is the girl who saw you weep when a CGI of a Giant Ape (also known by the rather ridiculous name of King Kong) fell to his death from the Empire State Building in a movie. Girls, how can you 'safely' remain friends with someone who can tell everyone you know that your secret talent is the ability to stuff an entire roti canai in your mouth while humming the tune from Jaws (Husband's ex can actually do this!).

If we're really honest with ourselves, we'll admit that if the friendship ever goes awry, as friendships sometimes do, an ex has enough dirt on us to bury us alive with this kind of 'reputation-ruining' information. Rarely (if ever) is a broken romance fertile ground for friendship to bloom - that's what I think anyway..

The column tomorrow is all about this issue. The Ex - friendship material or better left in the past? What do you think?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

You look like crap, darling.

I was a friend's party the other day - big reunion of the closest friends who hadn't caught up in over a month. Then one of them turned up, huffing and puffing about just how awful it was at work. She sat down, ate some food, moaning all the way about excessively late nights spent at work and the lack of any free time.

Then she turned round to me and said, not without a little maliciousness in her tone of voice, "What happened to you? Did you get lazy? You don't look good anymore. You looked better before."

I was aghast at the over-enthusiasm that came with this frankness. She was referring of course to the fact that she thought I had gotten fat. It was a point she brought up the last time we me, even though numbers hadn't moved on the scales and my clothes all still fit as perfectly as they did "before." She continued: "Yah... you just don't look good anymore lah. You looked much better before. I'm sure."

I pointed out that perhaps it was because I had just eaten a huge dinner and was, quite obviously, sitting slouched and overfed on a sofa. "No lah. It's not that. You don't look good anymore."

Then she added, "Sorry lah, I know that's not very encouraging. But it's true lah," just to rub salt into an overexposed wound.

Two days later I met up with a favourite gay boy of mine, who's known for his tireless bitchy remarks. He surprised me though: "How are you? Long time no see, eh? Hey! You lost weight lah!"


So I'm ready to throw up my hands and surrender to the neverending debate on my weight that runs its course throughout KL. I'm quite sure if you search hard enough, there'll even be a yahoogroups forum running especially on the fluctuations (imaginary or not) on my weight. It's just so tiring it's enough to make a girl just want to give up on that neverending illusion Size 0 and resort to cheesecakes for comfort.

Valentine's Day? Perhaps not.

I'll admit that Valentine's did hold a certain allure around the time I was about 16 or 17. I'd run to the post box at my house hoping there'd be a card or a note from a secret admirer who lived in the neighbourhood. Neither of those things ever happened and perhaps it scarred me for life when it came to anticipating romance!
Now that I'm all grown up and married, Valentine's seems to get lost admist the business of day to day living - picking up the laundry, thinking about dinner or wondering what movie to watch this weekend. The very fact that restaurants are just bursting at the seams with romantic couples looking into each other's eyes over tapered candles just seems to kill the romance of it for me. I tend to picture romance as being something unique that two people share and on Valentine's Day, everyone seems to be doing almost exactly the same thing as everyone else.As a friend said - maybe its time to think out of the chocolate box!
A few years ago, Dear Husband and I ran around the entire city looking for a place to have a romantic dinner coz both of us had thought the other had made dinner reservations. Anyway, we ended up frazzled and annoyed . After that night we made a pact that Valentine's was all about what we felt for each other . We ended up with a couple of McDonald's burgers eaten by candlelight at home. Let me tell you that it was one of the most romantic dinner's we'd ever had.
For me, Valentine's Day seems to have taken on a life of its own - and the real winners seem to be restaurauteurs and florists who feel that Valentine's is an opportunity to commit daylight robbery by charging RM299 per table and RM199 for a bouquet
Lest I sound like the Anti Romantic though, I must say there is something sweet about Valentine's. I agree with Trixie - chocolates, flowers and champagne can't hurt in a world where cynicism seems to be the order of the day but I don't think I'll ever convert to being a pro Valentinist.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

A guide to surviving Valentines Day

Has it become just a bit too commercialised now, or are we still just just as deeply in love with the idea of love? Personally, I've always been a bit averse to the idea of focusing an entire year's worth of romance and love into one piddly day - it seems to be concentrated romance in a bottle, perhaps. I do think love should be celebrated spontaneously, when you least expect it (and this doesn't mean it has to be extravagant or overly romantic; a lovely text message in the middle of the day means just as much).

Now that shops are bursting to their pretty window displays with pink hearts and flower arrangements are becoming as intricate as origami, girls' expectations go up and the boys are feeling increasingly weighed down by that incredible pressure of making an impression large enough to merit column space in the dailies. Poor things, you can't help but feel a bit sorry for the pressure on the gentlemen this month. What happened to it being the thought that counts? (Oh, heck, just tell her you love her *kiss kiss hug hug* then give 'er a slap if she makes any noise.)

Then again, you can't quite escape that loved up feeling every February 14th. Beware the siege of flowers, pinks and reds and cut-out hearts at your every turn. We can't fight it so we may as well join it. Love is in the air and breathing that in, even for a day, even under some sort of rose-tinted illusion we paint ourselves, is probably far better for our hearts than the current climate of current affairs that's stirred the world aflame.

But like I said, it doesn't have to be extravagant. If overpriced flowers aren't your thing, then ditch the exorbitantly over-priced frippery. Snog someone at the water cooler at work instead. If/when you get a flower delivery, pluck out a stem and hand it back to the delivery boy (he's delivering loved-up messages and flora all day; show him someone luvs him too!) Buy an heart-shaped cookie and ice it yourself with a corny message. If you can't quite bring yourself to send sticky sickly love notes to your partner, then make Valentine's day the only day in the year you agree that everything he says is right (yes, even if he says he thinks a RM12,000 plasma TV is "reasonable" or that Carmen Electra's chest is real). Start simple with good will and all that. Its the basis and the beginnings of lots of love.

Friday, February 10, 2006

A rather strange obsession with beauty

A little teaser to preempt tomorrow's column about the backlash of feminism: something from Maureen Dowd's Are Men Necessary: When Sexes Collide about the extremes that women today are going to look beautiful and/or titillate men...

"Several years ago, INAMED Aesthetics in Santa Barbara took the foreskin of one infant boy - the son of the original manufacturer - and replicated it into a supply of CosmoPlast and CosmoDerm that plumps lips for women all over the world ad infinitum. A bris to remember. This represent some sort of strange symmetry: Women inject their lips with baby boy foreskin to titillate adult male foreskin."

Haha. Time to reconsider what we're slathering onto our most precious assets.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

A re-education on what it means to be able to laugh at ourselves

My my, what a furore! We go away for a few days, and come back to find ourselves pelted... and all over a few mock air punches at the gym.

Dear readers, you seem to have rather missed the entire point of the last entry and the column in the paper. That being that I myself am a self-confessed frontline gym bunny, proud of it, proud of other gym bunnies, friends with other gym bunnies and proud of the people in the corner for their perseverance. (Re-read the entry, this time with your intelligence buttons turned ON). And that despite her raised eyebrows and smitchy comments, so is Trisha - think about it, she wouldn't be writing so zealously about gym behaviour if she herself wasn't hanging out there so very often.

And we love it most for the drama found within the whole gym scenario... as has been evidenced in its spillover onto this blog.

The point is, me lovelies, that while this is our view of how things are, they are also supposed to be caricatures, parodies - and like all caricatures, they're meant for us to laugh at ourselves and the gross exagerations of our silly foibles. The snarly comments going on down below only goes to illustrate Trisha's point about just how terribly seriously some of us are starting to take the gym.

Don't get too het up over a few faux hits and air punches down the frontline - it'll up the stress levels and we all know that's never good for health and fitness.

See you at bodyattack tomorrow - you can muscle me down to the ground then :)