Monday, August 07, 2006

Gravedigger/ Cradle Snatcher

In my bout of recent apathy, I've spent a stupid amount of time watching DVDs of House. All that mean, rude, cleverclever slap-in-the-face sort of bitchery makes for totally blissful entertainment because it's just so damn funny and somehow, rudeness doesn't count as rudeness when it's actually quite intelligent.

Also, have developed some sort of ridiculous infatuation with Hugh Laurie. You know, that whole caustic wit, the mean banter, the constant mockery he has plastered on his face - it's become a turn on, if a rather perverse one.

Add to that the fact that he reminds me of a maths teacher who I was gravely in love with for 4 years of high school. I only did ad maths because it would mean being taught by him (I went on to do English Lit at uni so it obviously wasn't for any sort of step up the academic ladder). It was so childish and so utterly daft, but such fantastic fun! I was so completely the fatter, 14-year-old, Chinese version of Jennifer Morrison's character, Cameron, in House.

Come to think of it now, it really was pretty stupid. First of all, even if I wasn't 20 kilos overweight (which I was, grossly), he was about 40 when I was about 14 and was married to the only PE teacher who was prettier than all the hot language teachers combined. Hmph. Still, it was a silent love affair in my empty little teenage head with a man who who as excited about Group Theory as I was bored shitless.

Funny, the things your head does to you when you're a kid.

Oh, but wait, not much has changed then, has it?

A close friend BB and I were SMSing furiously about how fabulous House is. I told her I'm in love with Hugh Laurie because he reminds me of my maths teacher.
She said, "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! I never pictured you as a grave digger," (Ok, well I hadn't thought of it quite like that) and then,
"Grab 'em all! Someone old, someone new, someone present (I don't condone borrowing), someone blue! You must be "projecting" your feral instincts to me through our sisters' bond. Get outta my head! I KNEW I WAS PURE LIKE A FRESH FALL OF SNOW! It's all your fault! hahaha"

See, with friends like these, how could I be anything but not right in the head.

Anyway, back to that grave-digger thing. Yah, the older (as in old) man does have it's appeal. (though, like BB, I don't condone borrowing either - the dating married men thing is just so tired and people should so get over it already).

Old, very clever men with the sophistication that comes about only from having developed enough wit to make you feel uncomfortable and adoring at the same time are especially rare and definitely deserve to be worshipped by silly fillies like me.

Still, there's always that thin line between Dating an Older Man and Being Cradle Snatched. Charming Sophisticate? Or Paedophile?
Matured young girl? Or Lolita?

Anyhow, I'm getting ahead of myself. It's not like I'm even going to get to have dinner with Hugh Laurie least of all date him and have the world judge that age thing so may as well enjoy the infatuation while I can, eh. There's still 4 more unwatched DVDs in the box for when the next bout of procrastination hits.

And PS: speaking of paedophiles, Boyfriend and I went to MacDonalds recently and there was this really evil looking, child-molesting Ronald MacDonald sitting up front. Seeeeeee:

He's even got that creepy, "Come 'ere and sit on my lap" pose and sleazy grin on his face. If I had kids, and Ronald MacDonald was real, I sure as hell won't be letting my kiddums get anywhere near him.

1 comment:

delphynus said...

poor ronald...hahaha....!