I have this fairly shaming confession: I find the Chinese boys from Imbi Plaza really cute.
I had my fair share of SPG days at uni when I fell in lust with all manner of blond-haired, blue-eyed boys. What to do? I was in a university where there were only about two Asian people, of which I was one. Naturally, you'd start to find even the whitetest of white boys pretty hot after awhile.
So I came back to KL and hurray, suddenly found it totally exciting to see Chinese boys again.
I’m not really the sort to like the tall, dark, handsome sort. I prefer my boys to be about my height (“too short” as all my friends like to point out). And there’s something just so endearing about the way the Imbi Plaza boys are so damn nice. Okay, so I know they just want to sell me stuff, but it’s amazing enough that they put up with my crap Cantonese and answer alllllll my questions (there are many, as I’m a techno moron) and give me these big toothy grins all the way, and reassure me that I can come back if there's ever any problem, and tell me that my Cantonese isn't actually that bad. It's so nice! (and I'm a sucker for flattery).
I rang Trisha one day and said, “Hey, I’ve just been to Imbi and you know what? I think the guys there are cute!”
She sighed very loudly and then, “Aiyoooooo, it’s because they’re all short and ugly and demented lah, right?”
The sick thing is that she’s right.
I used to really fancy this guy from work, who Trisha also knew. She said he looked like a goblin and would get totally disgusted and fed up when I talked about him. In fact, all my friends find my taste in my pretty terrible (which is good, as I’ll never, ever have that problem of fighting with friends over a guy).
When I started going out with my current boyfriend, I was shocked that everyone around me approved and actually found him hot too. (They were totally shocked too – they never thought it possible that I’d like somebody who was actually good looking).
In defence of my terrible taste, I must explain this strange obsession: you see, it’s not just a matter of my falling in lust with any old Ah Beng (the ugly peroxide streaks, gold rings and long fingernails are a total no-no).
The Imbi boys are perhaps more of a passing fancy, something just for fun. The (supposedly ugly) guys I seem to find really attractive usually come with the added package of some particularly fascinating talent. See, they’re ugly, but they’re talented, or incredibly intelligent. And we all know that the brain can be one of the most erotic body parts.
There’s this guy I know that I used to think was all “Ewwwww” and when I found out that some friends were trying to matchmake us, I panicked and screamed.
Then I discovered that he was a photographer (but a very low profile one, as he seems the quiet sort to just get on and do his own thing). And then I saw his photographs and they are JUST.SO.SEXY. So, suddenly, he became sexy too. And now everytime I see him, I see his fabulous photos and get totally turned on.
The goblin that Trisha can't stand writes SO.DAMN.SEXILY. Even though he does look like he could give Quasimodo a run for his money, he's just so clever, he edits all my work so it sounds more fabulous that I could ever make it, and he writes these totally fantastic pieces that make me salivate.
It’s just so perverse, isn’t it?
Trisha (and most other people) thinks I need help… or that at the very least I should just concentrate on looking at my boyfriend, instead of perving on ugly boys. Hah.