Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Listen...can you keep a secret?

I think one of the most ridiculous questions to ask someone is: "Can you keep a secret?" Other just-as-ridiculous questions/statements related to secrets include, "Don't tell ANYONE, okay? and of course the ever popular but totally ineffective, "Okay, I'm going to tell you something but you've got to promise not to tell anyone. Promise!"

Isn't that stupid? Has anyone EVER said "uh, no, I can't keep a secret so please don't tell me?" Either you take the risk, tell your secret and get on with it or you just keep your mouth shut.

To be honest, though, I have been on the receiving AND giving end of the question.

Each time I ever asked that question, it was to assuage my guilt that at the very least, I had asked the person if they could actually keep the secret a secret. Besides, if the thing ever got out, I could always go back to the one I had spilled to and say accusingly, "Hellow….I thought you said you could keep a secret! Pshh!!!" Evil - I know!

Then there's the occasion when I've had someone ask me and inevitably replied, "Of course, what do you take me for?" without meaning a word of it. This has landed me in a world of trouble.

Like that time in uni, when a friend of mine asked me that exact question and in typical Trisha fashion, I blabbered yes…eager to hear what she had to say only to realize that the secret was about me.

Apparently, this guy, who we all thought was super cute, had confided to her that he'd never go out with me coz, "She's too immature." "What?!!" I screamed at my friend, how can you tell me to keep this a secret, I'm going to confront him RIGHT NOW!"

The poor girl pleaded with me not to as he had told her in strictest confidence. I suppose she didn't want to "lose her standing" with this guy ( I bet he started telling her with the standard stupid line "Promise you're not going to tell ANYONE, especially not Trisha!).

Anyway, I thought about it for, like 5 minutes, then decided that her standing with Cute Guy was not a good enough reason for me to not confront him about it.

To make a long, story short, I marched right up to Cute Guy and practically yelled in his ear, "I am SO not immature. How could you say that!"

In one quick move, I managed to ruin my friend's trust in me and prove Cute Guy right with respect to my maturity - that was NOT a mature move at all!!!

Anyways, I have (hopefully) matured since then but I have to admit that my ability to keep a secret still remains 50-50. It all depends on whose telling me and what its about.

So here's my unasked-for-advice, people - The next time you ask "can you keep a secret?" remember, its DEFINITELY a rhetorical question!

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