Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Year!

I cannot believe that it's resolution time again! I just calculated how old I'm going to be in 2008 and I've decided that I've finally reached the age that I'm going to be for the rest of my life. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not getting any older - ever - no siree!

It just seems overwhelming and a little frightening how quickly time moves. I remember back when I was a child when an evening out in the sun seemed to last for hours when it was really only between four and six o'clock.

Now... I look at the clock and it's ten in the morning. I blink and it's 3pm! Years are screeching by at top speed!

I've often felt that New Year's resolutions are a waste of time and an activity in futility since you're only setting yourself up for failure. Everyone knows that gyms are always SO FULL in January and gradually dwindle down to the hardcore fitness freaks by March. So why make resolutions?

This time, I've had a slight change of heart and decided that there's going to be one major resolution for 2008. Since I'm older (sob!) and wiser (yay!) I think I'll keep it short and meaningful.

The following is part of a message that was sent to me by a dear friend. It's called Let It Go by T.D Jakes. I don't know who T.D Jakes is but he certainly captured my wish and resolution for 2008.



There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.



I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.



When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.


People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go
.



And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.



You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.



It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!



If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!


If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...

LET IT GO!!!


If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!


If someone has angered you .....
LET IT GO!!!


If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..
LET IT GO!!!


If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ..
LET IT GO!!!


If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ..
LET IT GO!!!


If you have a bad attitude...

LET IT GO!!!


If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!


If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!


If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.....

LET IT GO!!!


If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!


If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....
LET IT GO!!!


If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...
LET IT GO!!!


Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for
2008 !!!
LET IT GO!!



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! Here's wishing all of you the Brightest, Most Beautiful year and all things shiny and hopeful.

Love,
Trisha

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Eye of cicak and Leg of kodok

It's almost Christmas but a Dear Friend of mine seems to have missed Santa's Little Helper and run into Satan's Little Helper instead...




Dear Friend recently moved into a rented house with two friends. She's known these two for quite some time. The 3 got along famously so there shouldn't be any problems living under the same roof, right? Wrong! It took just a few weeks for Dear Friend to realize that she'd made the mistake of signing a deal ( in this case the lease to a house) with Satan's Little Helper!

One of the housemates (i.e Satan's Little Helper) has two dogs (the itty-bitty Paris Hilton-ey kind from what I gather) and keeps them locked up in his room all day, every day! He's hardly ever at home (his job keeps him out of the house for hours at a time and sometimes into the wee hours of the morning)

This is just plain cruelty toward animals. The dogs whine and cry in SLH's room whenever Dear Friend is at home and her heart breaks everytime she hears them. Because of their strange living conditions neither one of the dogs use the potty properly and wee all over the place whenever they're allowed out of their prison cell aka SLH's bedroom.

So, not only has Dear Friend got to listen to the poor dogs crying, she's got to put up with dog wee inside the house as well - phew! SLH, meanwhile, seems to have no problems with the whole situation and was very flippant (and annoyed) when Dear Friend talked to him about the sorry scenario.

She's really at her wit's end and my heart goes out to her. She thought about alerting the SPCA but we all know what happens to dogs/cats who aren't adopted within a short period - they're put down. I don't know which is worse - giving the two dogs a slim chance at the SPCA or keeping them alive but unhappy with SLH?

Some choices just aren't easy.

This made me think about how little we really know the people we think we know. SLH seemed like a decent sort to Dear Friend until she shared living space with him. Now she just wants to strangle him.

If a friendship can so easily go to the dogs (no pun intended) what chance do marriages have? At least Dear Friend has an option of moving out of the house. No messy divorce, no division of assets, no lawyer's fees. Marriages aren't that easy to escape from.

I used to think that people who advocated living together before tying the knot were spewing rubbish but now I'm beginning to wonder...maybe they had it right all along?

Who knows? Your partner may seem so together and wonderful out in public or when they're alone with you for relatively short periods of time. Meanwhile, unbeknown to you, a cauldron with eye of cicak (lizard) and leg of kodok(toad) could be smoldering in their bedroom, ready to dish out to unsuspecting victims. If you're really unlucky - you could be unknowingly ingesting some yourself!

Pyschos, black-magic practitioner's and assorted other wackos have an inexplicable talent for appearing perfectly normal in public. You'll only find out that they might be Satan's Little Helper when it's too late. Unfortunately, there are times when tying the knot really is akin to tying a noose around your neck!

If you really can't bring yourself to live together with your intended before you make it legal (personally, I couldn't!), may I suggest that you take a long (at least a week) holiday alone with this person? After all, even Satan's Little Helper would find it difficult to hide their evil ways for an extended period of time!

So beware boys and girls... your chunk of hunk or delicious doll may not be all that they seem...don't say I didn't warn you!

satan courtesy of buyhorrormovies.com

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The Vaguely Vulgar Girls


If there's anything I dislike it's women who are unnecessarily 'touchy-feely' with your boyfriend/husband.

There are two important categories when it comes to social interactions and platonic relationships between the sexes : Nice and Decent or Vaguely Vulgar. Vaguely Vulgar Girls are just over the invisible line that separates the two.

VVGs play their cards just right. They slip a hand around a man's waist for no apparent reason and leave it there for just a moment too long. They make a perfectly innocent comment but lean really close to his ear to say it. They lay a hand on his shoulder as they throw their heads back and laugh hysterically at his (probably bad) jokes. Some of the more brazen hussies will make like a Roman toga and drape themselves all over the man ....


The trickiest part of all this is that these annoying little performances take place right in front of the man's partner. The wife/girlfriend is left with little choice but to watch and fume inwardly. What's a woman to do? If she kicked up a fuss to her man, she'd come across as a pathetic, insecure, jealous female. Worse still if she confronted the VVG. With practiced fluidity the VVG would inform her that it's all innocent and in the name of friendship.

In all this the man in question will - predictably - do little if anything to throw the VVG off his personal space. Let's face it, which man is going distance himself from a woman who seems to be 'harmlessly' flirting? After all, any chance he gets to inflate that overly sensitive and quick-to-deflate ego of his is a chance he's not going to pass up.

After a decade of arguments and ulcers, I've recently realized that VVGs come and go like the breeze. There's ALWAYS going to be a woman somewhere who is so full of self-doubt that she'll flirt with every man within a 5km radius. She's not going to bother her insecure self with little details like whether the man is attached or not.

This type of blase attitude among VVGs used to throw me in a fit but it has dawned upon me that while VVGs can make you want to scream with aggravation, they're rarely vindictive or vicious. Their annoying little performances generally don't go any further.

The women to really watch out for are the ones who seem to have wings sprouting out of their backs and a halo over their heads. These types know what they are capable of behind the scenes and take extra precaution to appear holier-than-thou in public.

That's why I've concluded that VVGs are the lesser of two evils. So, everytime you're confronted with a one in your vicinity (I do this too) just calmly repeat to yourself: "VVGs aren't vicious, VVGs aren't vicious" Then, as the night ends, make sure you catch her eye, give her a (smug) smile, hold hands with the man she's been flirting with all night and casually stroll away.

pics courtesy of askmen.com and hadrians.com

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I Don't Love Small Cities!

I can't believe I'm back in The Land Of No Aldo. I had SUCH a fantastic time in South Africa - Cape Town and Johannesburg.

Cape Town is unbelievably beautiful. It was all mountains and ocean and came complete with all those snooty types lounging about on the 'better' beaches. Many looked like they had been plastic surgeon-ed to within an inch of their lives but it made great people-watching material (you could spend your time sipping your wine and playing 'spot the person with the most plastic' all evening)

Johannesburg was a different affair. It's an enormous, impersonal city but I'm a city girl and I can handle it. Even the traffic jams didn't seem so terrible because all the roads were fully tar-ed! Imagine that!

Like icing on a cake the weather was cool, cool, cool! In fact, Jo'berg was rather cold and it rained a lot of the time but I didn't care. I was 10 minutes away from a mall - it any direction. Woo hoo!

Yes, it was glorious to be back in civilization for a while. It was so good that I had to hold back tears when I left (plus The Engineer and I met up with two of our really, really good South African friends and I have no idea when we'll see them again).I wished really hard (eyes tightly shut) that we would somehow, magically, be able to extend the trip for another week.

Wishing isn't going to make it happen so here I am again back in Tanzania. Hot, shimmering sun, dusty roads and no malls to speak of.... and I'll have to go back to brainwashing myself that The Land of no Aldo is something that I can live with....sigh!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I Love Big Cities!

I'm off to South Africa for a holiday - woo hoo! I can't wait to get back to civilization after the , mall-free, fluctuating-electricity zone that is Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania.

Frankly, I can stomach all of that but what REALLY gets me is that this country does not feature Aldo shoes! Horrors!

I can't wait to drive down a real highway, walk around aimlessly in a real mall and take 24-hour electricity for granted!

What can I say? I Love Big Cities (this is why I'm obsessed with New York)

Ciao dahlings...c ya later *blows kisses*

Sunday, November 18, 2007

To be (a housewife) or not to be...

I've started working part-time, recently (this is why I've been a bit silent on this blog for a while). I'd forgotten how stressful it can be to coordinate with someone else's schedule and deal with the aggravating, ever-present office politics.

I found myself wistfully thinking of my days spent taking care of the home and then it suddenly dawned upon me.....I was essentially a housewife for the past year. A housewife... me! I was the type of woman who used to cringe at the very word!


Sure, I kind of worked from home, doing some writing but I had no job to go to everyday. This made me a woman who stayed at home while her husband went to work which made me a housewife.

This might seem like an obvious truth but it never really registered on my psyche. When it finally did, I had an epiphany: I enjoy staying at home... I actually liked being a housewife and I think more women should try it on for size!

My suggestion might raise a feminist eyebrow or two but what can I say? I stand by it.

I'm not trying to persuade anybody to stay at home and shun work just because they're born female, I'm only saying that women shouldn't automatically spurn a life spent at home (especially if you can financially afford to) and those who enjoy being housewives should be allowed to proudly stand by their preference.

As a rule, feminist types proclaim that they're all about choices which means they support a woman's choice to do anything she wishes i.e stay at home, work, work from home or whatever.

But I've often felt that this is just talk. Even the word housewife sounds frumpy; conjuring up images of a woman in an apron, her hair disheveled and her nails chipped. In reality, women who work tend to feel an eensy, weensy bit superior over women who stay at home. I know because I was like that when I went to work. I often thought: does a housewife really work?

I mean, how hard can it be to take care of a couple of kids, cook some fried rice for dinner and do the laundry, right? Goodness knows, you don't require a degree for that kind of thing whilst if you worked as an engineer, as I once did, you'd certainly not be allowed into the office without valid qualification.

So, I'm ashamed to say this but I often thought the stay-at-home women had it easy and were making a big deal out of their 'work' when they claimed that they had it tough as housewives.

Boy, was I wrong. I've since discovered that it actually IS easy to stay at home.....but only if you're lying on your back all day, eating out and allowing the laundry and 30 layers of dust to collect all over the house.

Like all other jobs, if you're serious about doing good, there is a lot of work involved in keeping a sparkling, beautiful home, your family well-fed and clothed on clean, nutritious meals and well-pressed clothes You'll also have to come up with menus for the week, do the grocery shopping, ensure that nothing runs out (like detergent or toilet paper). If you have kids, you've got to make sure that their school work is done and that school projects and supplies are taken care of and readily available.

Don't get me wrong, if you're working, you'll be saddled with all this as well as your job but the difference is that the woman who doesn't work can spend a good deal of time and effort on each task. It's not about rushing around just to get things done.

The housewife's job becomes a hundred times more difficult when she's trying to achieve it on a tight budget (which is often the case because the family is running on one income) I'm now referring to the average family and not the Datin-types who have nothing but time and money on their hands. To be honest, even the Datins probably face challenges running their large homes. When you have housekeepers and other staff around the house, you'd have to manage your staff to make sure that everything is done up to your standards.

The best thing about staying at home is that you're working all day to enhance the lives of people you love. You're not slogging away in some insipid cubicle under unflattering fluorescent lights for some multi-national company that, frankly, couldn't care less and probably wouldn't notice, if you lived or died.

At work, you get paid but at home you're rewarded: a happy, healthy family and you'll have TIME to spend with them......and really is there anything better than spending time with the ones you love?

You'll never have to miss your baby's first step and you're always on hand when your teenager needs to talk. You'll have a better chance of keeping the marital/relationship flames fired up because you're not working all hours, trying to get that promotion.

So to all those housewives out there who maintain lovely homes and take good care of their families I say stand up and own it, girlfriends..you should be proud! Besides, these days, housewives get to look like this...!




images courtesy of: momadvice.com and buddytv.com

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Other Woman

My good friend recently discovered that her brother has been cheating on his wife for the past 2 months. The first thing that came to my mind was "not again!"

This made me think but not about the brother.In my opinion men are not from Mars they're from another galaxy altogether so why even bother trying to decipher their alien thoughts? The affair made me think about The Other Woman. She is a woman after all so maybe I'd have better luck trying to figure her out but I eventually gave up. It's really difficult for me to understand why women wish to throw their lives away waiting for someone who is already committed to someone else.

I just don't get why these women never seem to grasp that men NEVER leave their wives for The Other Woman. I have never seen (or even heard of) this happen in my life and neither have I ever heard or seen this happen in the combined life experiences of all the people I know.

Does this mean that I have accurate, detailed, statistical proof that the Other Woman never EVER gets the man? No, of course not. It only means that the chances of turning another woman's hubby into your honey is slim..minuscule.....next to none. It also means that any intelligent, self-respecting woman would never allow herself to become The Other Woman and even if she happens to find herself in that God-forsaken situation, she's smart enough to realize that she'd better not expect a wedding ring on her finger - ever.

The girl who allows herself to be the fall-back for any man is not just eluding herself...she's pretty darn pathetic. I'm not being harsh - I'm being realistic.

We women only need to look at men to learn how not waste time waiting for 'the love of your life'. After all, how often does a man sit around twiddling his thumbs while his woman squeezes in a few hours with him before she goes home to her husband? In my mind, there are only two instances when this scenario might occur:

1. The man is being paid by the hour (i.e he's some sort of escort)
2. The woman is Heidi Klum

On second thought, I take back no. 2. I can't imagine, any man (not even the balding, beer-gut types) wasting their life away knowingly sharing their woman with another man - even if she is Heidi Klum.

This is where I get REALLY confused - don't these Other Women feel a little "eeeek" when they think of their men going home and sharing a bed with their lawfully wedded wives? Isn't that just a little bit, well, gross? It has certainly stopped me from even entertaining the idea of turning into The Other Woman.

I bet the cheating husbands assure their mistresses that they no longer find their wives attractive or that they haven't done it in years and that's why they're so unhappy with their wives or that they only do it as a physical act with no feelings involved and blah, blah, blah and blah. Hellow! Wake up and then get out of bed with the adulterer, ladies!

Everything out of a cheating husband's mouth is a lie and The Other Woman has more proof than any other because she knows that he's lying to his wife - about her! If he lies to his wife, a woman he has made so many promises to, what is to stop him from lying the lowly lady-in-waiting?

There are many reasons that a woman might find herself falling for a another woman's husband (which is forgivable) but the problem is that they act on those feelings (which is not). How is this man going to ever respect a woman who is willing to stand on the sidelines and watch him while he's off frolicking with his family, telling her that he needs time to get rid of his wife because of the children, the shared assets the sheer complication of it all and all the other weary excuses that may as well be coming out of his a*se.

Once, a friend of mine, who had recently discovered her husband's despicable, adulterous ways told me that she felt even more betrayed by The Other Woman than her husband. "Why would one sister do this to another?" she asked me. I had no answer.

Men tend to stand together and back each other up even when they don't really like their "brother" but we women, far from doing the same, often tend to play "each gal for herself" when it comes to careers, friendships and most often - men. If you ask around, you'll notice that men generally avoid fooling around with their buddies' girls at all costs. Friendships come first. It should be the same for us but sadly isn't. If you really look in your heart, how many of your girlfriends do you truly trust to spend time alone with your husband/boyfriend. Not, many right? How sad.

The truth is, after all our equal rights sisters have done for us, we are yet to reach equal standing with men who often say my "brother" comes first. You'll notice the 'cheating rate' in serious relationships sharply decline the moment we girls tell ourselves that we would never put another woman through what we ourselves know to be the worst kind of heartache - finding out that the one you love has betrayed you in every possible way.

....unfortunately,we're all still waiting for this to happen....

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

I have never been able to look at this and resist:



For the most part, I think Facebook is fabulous. I see it as a lazy man’s/woman’s device for keeping in touch. It’s a wonderfully welcome alternative to that other old-fashioned mode of communication - the one that’s So-Last-Century – the dull, one-dimensional email (despite being a writer, I abhor writing emails).

I can never find the time to send regular emails to everyone mainly because I can never bring myself to send out those awful “group emails” that some people seem to think is an acceptable form of communication. It’s SO impersonal (especially if it’s from someone you consider as a close friend). One step lower are forwarded jokes and at the very bottom of the bin are ‘chain’ mails. Imagine not hearing from someone for a while and then receiving one of those ridiculous mails that insist you’re going to grow a third nipple if you don’t forward the mail this-very-second to 5 more people! I’ve refrained from indulging in any of these but unfortunately, this also means that I hardly ever email anybody.

In fact, I’m one of the worst correspondents I know and if they were handing out grades for Keeping in Touch, I’d get an E or gagal altogether! Only Trixie has miraculously been spared my notorious habit of not sending regular email. This is only because of her inexorable and tireless efforts of sending me email after email after email until I finally caved and began to reply regularly!

Most of my other friends, whom I love and miss, have to tolerate my long and complete silences between my visits to Malaysia. Thankfully, these are my true friends – that’s why they still stick around (there have been others who have completely dropped of my radar and I can’t say I blame them).

This is where Facebook is a lifesaver. The best thing about it is that you don’t have to write a thesis every time you think of someone or miss them. Instead, you can just ‘poke’ them, add flowers and gnomes in their garden and try to get them virtually drunk by sending them dangerous sounding booze like El Chupacabra and Screaming Viking. This is a very welcome change from those long emails people used to expect from friends who live far away (let’s face it, the Jane Austen days are long gone – who has the time to write long mails, ‘e’ or otherwise, to everyone they know, anyway?)

Another plus point is that you get to ferret out long-lost friends (or vice versa) and ‘trout slap’ them or ask them burning questions like “boy shorts or thongs?” without coming across as a total loser.

Unfortunately, like all great inventions, there are some drawbacks to Facebook. Firstly, it has got to be the most addictive thing invented since alcohol. I wouldn’t be surprised if Facebook Fanatic Rehab Centres don’t start sprouting up soon. I’ve spent hours and hours sitting at my computer, looking at friends’ profiles (it has a delicious voyeur feel to it) or answering stupid trivia questions like what speed did the DeLorean, that Michael J Fox drove, have to reach before it took him “Back to the Future”. Absolutely ridiculous! Still, it’s harder to pry my fingers off the keyboard than it is to pry me away from the latest Aldos .I sit down at 9am and then get the shock of my life when I notice my computer clock : 2pm!!! Horrors!

I also wish someone would come up with Facetiquette – an accepted set of rules on dealing with the unwanted side effects of being a Face-bookie

For instance – what the hell do you do when someone you don’t really like attempts to add you as a friend? Do you do the hypocritical thing which is to accept and then proceed to ignore them or do you just ignore them from the start and wait for the invitation to expire ( I think it does in 30 days) hoping they’ll get the hint once and for all. That might seem a tad childish and petty plus you might keep coming across them again and again in other people’s profiles. How awkward!

I’m also very curious to know what to do about some people’s profile pictures. There’s this one guy – he’s a friend of a friend – whose profile picture looks like an image of Early Man in National Geographic – absolutely hideous. It does him no justice and the worst thing of all is, he asks the question: what do you think of my profile picture? Do I tell or do I not tell?

Finally, there are those strange people who suddenly send out a message like Hi! I wan be ur friend. Next to this message will be a picture of someone you’ve never seen in your life and don’t really want to see either!

All in all I think Facebook has kind of complicated my life but like all junkies – I just can’t-say-no!!!

image courtesy of www.dailymail.co.uk

Monday, October 22, 2007

The "Pig" and the "Comb-Over"

I know I watch too much E! and not enough CNN/BBC so I tuned in to CNN this morning hoping to absorb some knowledge about Seriously Important World Events (it would be nice to think about the state of world economics or finance for a change and not the state of Britney Spears underwear situation - panties-no panties,panties-no panties)

Unfortunately, my attempt at avoiding entertainment news totally failed when I happened to be just in time to catch Larry King Live. It would have been fine if Larry had Barrack Obama or Hilary Clinton as a guest but guess who Larry was interviewing today? None other than the very outspoken and in-your-face Donald (as in Trump) sporting, as always, his even more in-your-face hairdo(n't).



I stayed tuned hoping that The Donald might still assuage my sudden and inexplicable thirst for Seriously Important World Events by spewing worthy information about - say- the rise and fall of the real estate market and how it affects the American economy ( I seem to be obsessed today with economy or some reason).

I presume he'd been invited to appear on Larry's show to promote his new book Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life but there seemed to be very little talk about the book. Instead he sat there, with his unfortunate hairdo, going on about...celebrities! Despite myself, I was intrigued. The Donald isn't known for being shy and today, he outdid himself.

He proceeded to describe Angelina Jolie as not very beautiful, George Clooney as not very tall and Rosie O'Donnell as a pig (its harsh but Rosie isn't exactly svelte).



I looked it up and apparently there was a huge feud with Rosie last year and the two have been verbally sparring ever since.... much like how kids in a kindergarten argue over who should get the larger biscuit at break time.

They degenerated into calling each other names with Rosie calling Donald a pimp and a 'comb-over' and Donald calling Rosie a slob and a mental-midget ( I must say if this were a contest on meanness, Donald's insults are much better than Rosie's - not to mention more entertaining!)

I can't imagine why grown men and women would stoop to this level. Maybe its just publicity or maybe they're really crass people who happen to have fame and money. Either way, its all highly amusing!

I immediately turned to the E! channel after Donald's interview with Larry ended. Who gives a @#$$ about world economics when you can entertain yourself with a battle between a pig and a comb-over!

pic courtesy of www.golfblogger.co.uk and poxline.buzznet.com

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Stupid Rapper Names

Ooops! I just realized that I'd accidentally published this post without the pics so here it is again, with pics and paragraph indentations included this time : )

Has no one else noticed that rappers have the most stupid names - ever? How are we, the general public, supposed to take people like Ludacris seriously when his name can be instantly linked to the word ludicrous which is what he must be to have a name like that! (he certainly looks the part in this pic)



Next on my hit list is 50 cent (it just occurred to me that Rappers, of all people, know all about making hits and getting hit!).


The man must have no sense of self-worth. He could have, at the very least, called himself 500cent or 5000cent but nooooo… he had to go cheap. Now, according to the E! channel, he's known only as Fiddy which is just as well.

While we're on the subject of stupid rapper names, I can't possibly leave out Nelly. For one thing, Nelly is, as far as I know, a woman's name. For another thing, this particular Nelly looks more like a Felly (that's my original rapper-slang for felon). I don't care how good his music is, he really shouldn't be allowed to get away with making people call him that.



But if Nelly is bad, Snoop Dogg is even worse! Previously known as Snoop Doggy Dogg, he apparently changed his name to Snoop Dogg when he left Death Row Records (there's another absurd name for you!) to No Limit Records*. His mum used to call him Snoopy when he was little because of his love for the comic, Peanuts. This is all very sweet until you take a look at the adult Snoop Dogg...Doggy or whatever.

This tall, emaciated rake of a man, doesn't look anything like Charlie's Brown's Snoopy. Instead, he looks like he's just smoked something that you can't buy at 7-11. Here's proof (only someone high on something is going to go out in public looking like this!):




There's really no end to the Stupid Rapper Name List. Snoop Dogg not only forced us to accept his own silly name but he's responsible for spawning Lil' Bow Wow who has now renamed himself Bow Wow (does he think that he's going to gain any more respect for dropping the Lil' when his name is essentially the sound dogs make when they bark?).

There are others who deserve special mention. There's Diddy who was previously Puff Daddy, Puffy, P.Diddy and countless other equally absurd variations of a basically stupid name. I think Ice Cube wants himself to be associated with ice because it's cool. Listen, man - Vanilla Ice tried it years before….it didn't work then, it's not going to work now. The lesser-known Coolio also probably thinks he's linking himself to the word 'cool' in people's minds but sadly, you hear Coolio you think coolie - laborers hired for minimum wage.

Besides having asinine names, not many of these rapper types have much in the looks department. More than half of the really famous ones look like they're either stoned, drunk or both (see above). The rest look like they've escaped from a nearby penitentiary and I always expect to see the police come and grab them by the collar in the middle of one of their concerts (this might actually happen - a large number of these gangstas have police records or seen the inside of a prison).

I suppose everyone forgives their lousy names and even lousier looks because of their talent but I personally think the music industry is in need of a serious revamp when people like Da Brat and Yukmouth (l didn't make these up) are allowed to flourish.

Fascinating fact: I was looking up rapper names on Google when I came across www.rapstarname.com . It generates a rapper name for you. Apparently, I'm supposed to be Kandle Valentine if I ever went down the rap route (not too bad - at least it wasn't Da Gangsta Gurl or Talant-lass!).

*info gleaned from Wikipedia

image of nelly courtesy of www.nndb.com, snoop - pursepage.com, 50 - nymag.com, ludacris - daveyd.com

Stupid Rapper Names

Has no one else noticed that rappers have the most stupid names - ever? How are we, the general public, supposed to take people like Ludacris seriously when his name can be instantly linked to the word ludicrous which is what he must be to have a name like that! (he certainly looks the part in this pic)
Next on my hit list is 50 cent (it just occurred to me that Rappers, of all people, are familiar with more than one kind of hit !). The man must have no sense of self-worth. He could have, at the very least, called himself 500cent or 5000cent but nooooo… he had to go cheap. Now, according to the E! channel, he's known only as Fiddy which is just as well.
While we're on the subject of stupid rapper names, I can't possibly leave out Nelly. For one thing, Nelly is, as far as I know, a woman's name. For another thing, this particular Nelly looks more like a Felly (that's my original rapper-slang for felon). I don't care how good his music is, he really shouldn't be allowed to get away with making people call him that.
But if Nelly is bad, Snoop Dogg is even worse! Previously known as Snoop Doggy Dogg, he apparently changed his name to Snoop Dogg when he left Death Row Records (there's another absurd name for you!) to No Limit Records*. His mum used to call him Snoopy when he was little because of his love for the comic, Peanuts. This is all very sweet until you take a look at the adult Snoop Dogg...Doggy or whatever.
This tall, emaciated rake of a man, doesn't look anything like Charlie's Brown's Snoopy. Instead, he looks like he's just smoked something that you can't buy at 7-11.Only the real Snoopy can get away with a name like that and that's because he's a cartoon dog!
There's really no end to the Stupid Rapper Name List. Snoop Dogg not only forced us to accept his own silly name but he's responsible for spawning Lil' Bow Wow who has now renamed himself Bow Wow (does he think that he's going to gain any more respect for dropping the Lil' when his name is essentially the sound dogs make when they bark?).
There are others who deserve special mention. There's Diddy who was previously Puff Daddy, Puffy, P.Diddy and countless other equally absurd variations of a basically stupid name. I think Ice Cube wants himself to be associated with ice because it's cool. Listen, man - Vanilla Ice tried it years before….it didn't work then, it's not going to work now. The lesser-known Coolio also probably thinks he's linking himself to the word 'cool' in people's minds but sadly, you hear Coolio you think coolie - laborers hired for minimum wage.
Besides having asinine names, not many of these rapper types have much in the looks department. More than half of the really famous ones look like they're either stoned, drunk or both. The rest look like they've escaped from a nearby penitentiary and I always expect to see the police come and grab them by the collar in the middle of one of their concerts (this might actually happen - a large number of these gangstas have police records or seen the inside of a prison)
I suppose everyone forgives their lousy names and even lousier looks because of their talent but I personally think the music industry is in need of a serious revamp when people like Da Brat and Yukmouth (l didn't make these up) are allowed to flourish.
Fascinating fact: I was looking up rapper names on Google when I came across www.rapstarname.com . It generates a rapper name for you. Apparently, I'm supposed to be Kandle Valentine if I ever became a rap star (not too bad - at least it wasn't Da Gangsta Gurl/Talant-lass)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Malaysian Star

One Malaysian Muslim will be completing his Ramadhan and celebrating Raya in outer space! Right this minute, our very own astronaut, Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, is floating above us - out in the deep black among the stars. The whole idea of it is mind-blowing...literally out of this world!The news is so big that it has even filtered out to me here in Tanzania and penetrated my news-free existence.

I looked it up on the net and discovered that our astronaut is not only an astronaut but an orthopaedic surgeon and as a HUGE bonus, he's a hot, hot, hottie!




I didn't manage to unearth any news on his personal life so I have no idea if he's attached but if he is, I feel sorry for his girlfriend!This guy has got to be Malaysia's most eligible bachelor right now and I suspect plenty of prowling women aren't going to allow a little matter like a girlfriend get in their way!

Forget about dangers like radiation bombarding, nausea and all the other zero-gravity related problems Shukor will have to grapple with. The most astronomical (*grins*) predicament he'll have on his hands is fending off all the ladies who're going to be bearing down upon him when he gets home.

I bet our national heart-throb will inspire plenty of astronaughty thoughts among them!

Okay, I think I'm nauseating everyone with my astronaut wordplay so I'll stop here (I tried it with Angkasawan but couldn't come up with anything punny!)

pic of hottie courtesy of codewolf.com

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Boys's Night Out

Boys' Night Out. Three little words that I have never really understood . I've always believed that Boys Behaving Badly would be a more appropriate term to describe the antics that these boys (and sometimes elderly men) get up to when they all go out together to drink themselves into a coma.

I've happened to be at pubs when some of these Boys' Night Out gangs appear. They usually start off thumping each other on the back and looking pleased with themselves. After a while and a substantial amount of alcohol things start getting a little out of hand. That's when the whooping and whistling at everything that looks vaguely like a woman begins (this activity is often mighty dangerous in bars in Asia and especially Thailand where there are many lovely ladies who are lads).

As the night wears on, the thumping and whooping carries on, albeit, louder and in a more rowdy fashion. Eventually, someone decides that he wants to 'get some action' and cheered on by the others, makes his drunken way toward an unsuspecting woman somewhere in the bar.

Normally some kind of bet (the prize usually being more alcohol) will be involved. If the would-be Romeo is lucky, the woman is as drunk as he is and might actually allow herself to be pursued. If the Romeo is really lucky, this woman won't turn out to be a man.

I've had the wicked pleasure of witnessing one such drunken idiot approach and begin to chat up a man pretending to be a woman. Supported enthusiastically by his pals, the rather geriatric fellow proceeded to buy the "woman" a drink. I have no idea if his friends knew the truth and just wanted to watch the fun or if they were too smashed to know or care.

I'm pretty sure that the old geezer who was doing the chatting up was by no means gay. I'm also pretty sure that he didn't notice the "woman's" Adam's apple because he was by no means sober. I suppose I can't blame an inebriated geriatric if he attempts to pick up someone who looks like the one on the left without knowing that she's actually the one on the right:




I saw them leave the bar together a little later that night. Something tells me that, if the old dude had not had a fatal cardiac arrest after discovering the truth, that little escapade wouldn't stop him from making a fool of himself all over again in the following Boys' Night Out. That's the thing about men, they're not quitters. If they make a fool of themselves the first time, it never stops them from trying again!

picture of RuPaul courtesy of crossdresing.pl

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

My hero, my friend.

Today, I found myself suddenly drawing a blank about the difference between its and it's. I can't believe this has happened to me especially since I belong to the group "If You Can't Tell the Difference Between It's and Its, You Deserve to Die!" on Facebook.

However, as I have often done during my darkest hours, I turned to my loyal, dependable friend, my rock and my secret weapon - Google. I typed "its and it's" and within seconds, the answer I was looking for appeared like magic before me and my world is right once again.

Its = possessive
It's = it is

I think people struggle with the two because, usually, a possessive includes the apostrophe as in Trisha's Johnny Depp or Johnny Depp's Trisha. So people tend to think that it's is the version that indicates possessives of nouns and pronouns.

Mixing up the two is an unforgivable sin - especially for a writer. I blame Lynn Truss, the author of Eats Shoots and Leaves, which I'm reading right now. According to the front jacket, it is a book with "the zero tolerance approach to punctuation".



I'm sorry to report that all it seems to have achieved is to confuse me about "it's and its" because of the numerous (hilarious) examples Lynn has included on the wrong way to use the two in a sentence.

Thankfully, Google was there to save me once again. My hero, my friend!
images courtesy of booksamillion.com

Monday, September 24, 2007

Junk Mail



I was looking through my junk mail on Yahoo! trying to sort out between permanent trash and genuine mail (which mysteriously winds up with my junk mail despite my constant fiddling with the spam filter). This is a daily chore that I put up with and I usually don't mind because it takes about 30 seconds to get it done.

Today, however, I paused to take a closer look at all that spam and I found myself wondering who ARE the people behind them?? I know it's automated but they've got to come from somewhere..someone must be writing them?

Out of the 5 junks I received, 3 were about football and 2 had sexual connotations.

I decided that whatever spyware these junk mail people were using to identify their unsuspecting recipients/victims, can't be good. There are very few people in this world who have less interest in football than I do. All I know about football is that a bunch of guys kick the ball around and a couple of them are good looking. I wouldn't be able to tell you how many players are in each team if you pointed a gun at my eyeball. They'd have been better off trying to get my attention with shoes.

The football-related mails had these subjects: Football Fan Essentials, FOOTBALL!Are you ready? and Are you ready for some football?

The senders were rsjn, douglaswyatt and raymonddonner respectively. Douglas and Raymond didn't even have the gumption to come up with individual subject lines (although Douglas has tried to infuse some enthusiasm by using capitol letters and an exclamation mark).

The other 2 mails were even worse. One had nothing in the subject line but the recipient would have little cause to wonder what the mail would be about since the sender is called Cure Impotence. Now, that's a dead giveaway if I ever saw one!

The last one was the 'best' one of all. The sender's name is Carly and in the subject line was this intriguing question: Do you want to enlarge your penis at home?. No I don't Carly, not even if I actually had one and if I happened to have one AND I was stupid enough to think I could enlarge it, I certainly wouldn't do it at home, thank you very much!

I didn't open any of the mails, of course (goodness knows what viruses lurk within). I'm just curious as to who comes up with these mails and how. Do they sit around at a conference table discussing, over coffee, new and improved ways of infuriating the recipients of their junk mail? Possibly.

Personally, I picture a lonely computer geek, sitting in his room somewhere in Arizona, getting paid something like 5 cents a week to send out insignificant and sometimes offensive junk to millions of people around the world. Sad.

I used to think that the worst jobs in the world had to be septic tank workers and toll booth collectors but now I realize that Junk Mail sender can't be much better!

Cartoon from http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/horsey

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Wasting my life away....

I am officially a Facebook Fanatic!!! I've been sitting at the computer since 8:30am and now it's 11:33 am in Tanzania and I'm still unable to tear myself away!

I've got articles to write and breakfast to eat.....

Now I know what it feels like to be a druggie....somebody help!!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Celebrities? Not so much!

I've decided to come clean. In the name of honesty, I'm going to reveal a list of celebrities whom I think don't belong in Hollywood because they just-aren't-good-looking-enough (even though tabloids and the general public insist they are!)

Let's face it people, Hollywood and the movies are largely about looks (there are some exceptions like Meryl Streep but you've really got to be a HUGE talent to offset lack of looks!).

Taking this into consideration, I've carefully compiled this list of people who should be in an office somewhere hidden behind a cubicle and not up on the big screen or in the limelight where the rest of us are forced to pay money to look at them. We'll begin with:

1. Renee Zellweger






Let me tell you she did NOT have me at hello. She looked her best in her first movie, Jerry Maguire but even then she wasn't that great looking. She was good as Bridget Jones only because Bridget isn't supposed to be the Miss World type. Sorry to say this but I have a soft toy pig that is a dead ringer for Renee. I think Miss Piggy (the muppet) is marginally cuter and certainly more glamorous.

2. Justin Timberlake

Many a die-hard fan will disagree with me on this but I urge you to look deep into your hearts where the truth resides. Justin started off in the Mickey Mouse Club (already a HUGE turn off) and moved on to 'N Sync with, think about this, tight curly hair and a loony smile. We should all thank the stylist who finally convinced him to lop off those ridiculous curls. At least now with only a thin film of hair clinging to his head we (including Timbers) can try to forget his hair-raising past. Unfortunately, he still sports that loony, decidedly un-sexy grin. He insists he's Bringing Sexy Back - I'm still waiting.


3. Cameron Diaz



Another victim of the Loony Grin Syndrome (she seems to have a Loony Grin perpetually frozen on her face). She was SO hot in The Mask (her debut, I think) but has had nowhere to go but down since then.
Someone must have told her, at some point, that she's got a really wonderful, happy smile and infectious laugh. She's been playing up these 'assets' ever since and I think she's gone overboard because now, she's laughing all-the-time. That girl would laugh if you fell down the stairs and broke both your legs. It may have been infectious once but these days she sounds like she's drowning in a pool somewhere every time she lets out a guffaw (which is often). Meanwhile the years have not been very kind to Cameron and perhaps because she laughs as often as an insane person does, she's got the lines to show for it. Everybody say Botox.

4. Kirsten Duntz

I remember her when she was a little girl in Interview with a Vampire opposite Hollywood Hotties Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. The casting was brilliant and I thought that it was the creativity and genius of the makeup crew that made Miss Duntz look all Dracula-like. Years have passed, she's all grown up and I notice she still looks like a vampire (so it wasn't the makeup after all). She needs a trip to the orthodontist. Those razor-sharp, angular, pointy teeth of hers are doing her no favours in the looks department.
The last person who should be Mary Jane Watson in the Spiderman series, if you ask me. Someone less vampire-like would have been a lot easier on the eye.

5. Daniel Craig






Has no one else noticed that he'd fill the shoes of a thug much better than he could ever fill James Bond's? I thought Bond was supposed to be sexy and suave. I read somewhere that Craig was too short, too blond and too crass to play the role and I couldn't agree more. The man tries hard to get a sultry look going on (refer to pic) but just can't seem to get past his brutish features. Perhaps his acting prowess makes up for his lack of looks but unfortunately for Daniel this is a list about looks not talent.


Alright, that was pretty harsh but I stand by my list and to be honest I didn't do this in the name of honesty. I did it because I felt like being catty. My advice is, when you're in a foul mood, take it out on celebrities. They're rich, they're famous and they don't give an arse coz any publicity is good publicity (or at least that's what I'm telling myself!)

pics courtesy of askmen.com, smh.com.au and mi6.co.uk

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Yet another new look

I've changed my template again. I think it looks kind of funky now. The only problem with it is when I try to bold something it comes out in this color and can't be seen!

I'm really getting obsessed with this aren't I?

On top of this, the Internet is behaving badly once again and I'm trying to do everything quickly before it decides to die on me.

I think I'd better stop doing this before I become a complete nerd!

PS: Ooooh...I just realized that I can choose my font colour in my post - like this. I really, really better stop fiddling around with templates....totally losing it!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Panic!

Oh no! *screams*!

I nearly died when I logged on to this blog a few hours ago and found that my entire template had disappeared! I was deeply thankful that the entire blog hadn't gone Bermuda Triangle on me as well.

That's why there's this new image all of a sudden. I've been meaning to update the look for sometime now and it looks like the Universe has decided that it's going to be today.

Overall, I'm still not too pleased with what I've got but it's going to have to do for the moment. I've been sitting in at the computer for ages and just looked up to realize that it's dark and The Engineer is hungry so I've gotta go!

I've lost all of the links that we had (Trixie put them up) and have had to deal with a WHOLE LOT of HTML which really, really, really sucks big time!

On the upside, I've edited my Profile which I've been meaning to do and I'm planning to add new page elements soon.

Told you I've been at this for so hours... I sound like a proper Obsessed Blogger now!

World Wide Web-oholic

I had no idea how much my life depended upon the smooth, uninterrupted running of the Internet until I had it suddenly snatched away from me last week.

The people who were supposed to renew my subscription took an age and a day to get the job done. I'm here to say that the Malaysian 'lepak' attitude seems positively industrious compared to the Tanzanian 'pole pole' (meaning slowly, slowly in Swahili).

While the Tanzanian Internet people took their pole pole time, I found myself feeling perplexed and groundless...constantly, mournfully glancing at my blank computer screen. This is what druggies and alcoholics must feel like!

Like all junkies, I was all irritable and nasty, getting a little desperate, looking for my next fix. I was just thinking of driving out to the atrociously priced Dar Es Salaam Holiday Inn to log on, when the net was reconnected!

I wonder what the hell we all did with ourselves before the Internet took over our lives? The harsh realities of life are so much more bearable when I'm comfortable ensconced within the World Wide Web.

Monday, September 03, 2007

There's no ugly like Crocs Ugly

I'm going to come right out and say it: Crocs are U-G-L-Y.

They're so horrible that they border on offensive. C'mon, be honest with yourself and take a good, long look:




The first time I saw a pair, I actually held my breath for a few moments because I'd never laid eyes upon such ugly shoes (and I've seen some hideous footwear in my lifetime, trust me - I grew up in the 80s).

The people who released these revolting shoes upon the world have tried their darndest to pretty-them-up with cute colours but ugly, they stubbornly remain.


A friend recently wore them and I couldn't take my eyes off them - it's like the scene of a car crash, you don't want to look but you just have to! My friend's pair was black which made them all the uglier (if that's even possible!).

To her credit, she admitted that they're quite awful and that she would never have bought them for herself ( which is a good thing because I find it hard to remain friends with people who knowingly subject their friends to Crocs). They were a gift and she'd contemplated ignoring them completely but the moment she put them on, she said just couldn't take them off again - they were SO comfortable!

For the longest time, the Crocs craze was a mystery to me. All was revealed when I tried on a pair and they were possibly the most comfortable things I'd ever had on my feet. I almost gave in to the sudden urge to ignore what my eyes were telling me and run out and buy a pair for myself. I managed to fling them off my feet just in time. It was like being under some kind of spell - their comfort makes you forget how revolting they look!

Comfort or no comfort, that's no excuse to prance around with what looks like the footwear of choice for the trolls and goblins in Enid Blyton's books. I've never seen any human being look good in Crocs. That's probably because they belong on something that looks like this:


I believe the only people who can give Crocs a run for their ugly money are the Dutch and their hideous wooden shoes (try not to look directly at them)



Hopefully the good people at Crocs will eventually come up with something that's just as comfortable but with a severely diminished level of Ugly.If they don't, I propose that the English language expands to include a new phrase - "Croc Ugly".This will be used to describe something that looks particularly horrendous when all other words fail to hit the mark.

Meanwhile, in protest, I shall endeavor to remain resistant to these revolting things. Promise to shoot me if you see me in them.

pics courtesy of: www.kickmaster.com,www.theorthoticgroup.com,www.hegemonyrules.net

Monday, August 27, 2007

I like documentaries - yikes!

The good news is, I've survived the Weird African Flu thingee! Boy, it's good to be alive!

The bad news is, I'm behind on some writing and have to drag myself out of my lazy stupor.

I've gotten used to feeling vaguely ill and lying around in front of the TV. Now that I'm all better and therefore have no excuse to do that anymore, I find myself faced with the unattractive prospect of getting up off my arse and getting to work.

Who knew illness could be so much fun?

Despite my general delight with the squandered time in front of the TV, I'm glad to report that it wasn't a complete waste. While frittering away the hours, I chanced upon a very sudden and rather bothersome insight about myself.

I've discovered that I just LOVE documentaries.



I suppose that doesn't really sound bothersome and might actually be a good thing but in my mind that's a definite sign of..... Old Age!! Argggghhh!

Think about it - kids, teenagers and young adults either have no interest in documentaries or have no time to watch them (because they're out living their lives and having fun)

So, while The History Channel, Animal Planet, Discovery and National Geographic might be highly intelligent and informative choices for the TV viewer (especially if you give Girls of the Playboy Mansion on E! a miss), it doesn't say much about your social life and even less about your age.

Let's face it - no one below 30 voluntarily tunes in to documentaries. Goodness knows, I certainly didn't. In fact, the very word 'documentary' used to make me feel bored. No kidding!

I think this is a sign that I should get out and live a little. Unless, of course, Discovery comes up with something like How To Stay Young After 30.....

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Flu

I've been out of commission of late due to, a what must only be, a Weird African Flu Virus.

The darn thing has had its grip on me for more than a week and I've been unable to do much in the writing department.

It seems to be on it's way out but for some reason (probably coz I'm feeling ill) I'm also terribly homesick.

Flu + homesickenss = Misery

So I shall resort to my time-tested remedy:

Chocolate + Sex and the City reruns = Comfort

Monday, August 13, 2007

TV is good for you

To the people who say that watching TV is a bad habit - I say to you (as Mr. Burns would) bosh, flimshaw!!!

TV, like chocolate, has had a bad reputation for far too long and I predict that, like chocolate, some scientist somewhere is going to prove that watching TV is actually good for you.

To prove my point, below, is the impressive list of the things I learned from watching TV yesterday:

1. Cardamoms are one of the most expensive spices because they are difficult to grow and must be hand-picked
2. Saffron is actually the stigma of these gorgeous flowers:



They're also one of the most expensive spices because it takes hundreds of these flowers to produce just 100gms of saffron

3. The world is coming to an end sometime in 2012. This is according to the ancient Mayans, the book of Revelations, the medieval predictions of Merlin and something called the Web-bot project which makes massive scans of the internet (just Google 2012 and you'll see what I'm talking about)

4. The ancient Aztecs of Mexico made human sacrifices every, single day and actually reached into the chest cavity of their hapless victims and tore out their hearts. Plus they apparently had some of them for dinner after.

5. According to renowned diver Jacques Cousteau, two-foot long frogs were to be found in Lake Titicaca.

Of course, I had to watch a Whole Lot of TV to get these bits of information
Of course most of this information isn't going to help me much unless I enter a gameshow based on meaningless trivia or wish to impress the unsuspecting public on my vast knowledge about nothing in particular.
Of course most of that information had flown out of my head this morning and I had to look up the details on the net
Of course all that TV watching made my eyes feel tired and made me feel lazy all day.

But I stand by what I said - TV is good for you. Besides, as Joey from Friends said - where would all your living room furniture be pointed at if you didn't have a TV?

TV, bad for you? Bosh, flimshaw!

pics courtesy of www.moranjan.com and op-for.com

Monday, August 06, 2007

Row, row, row your boat....


Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream
,

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream


I haven't thought of this rhyme in about 10 years but it suddenly sprang into my mind this morning. It was triggered by a most unlikely source - Buddhism.

I was reading a book by Pema Chodron called Start Where You Are. Pema is an ordained Tibetan Buddhist nun and although I'm not a Buddhist, I've always found her books offer me a sense of comfort and peace especially during difficult times in my life. If you're curious you can find out more about Pema and her books

Anyway, I was reading about a concept where you should 'regard all dharmas as dreams'. This sounds deep and confusing but it's actually quite straightforward.

Tibetan Buddhists believe that whatever you experience in your life is like something in a dream.

Pema explains in her book (it's a bit long but I think really worth a read):

We went for a walk this morning but now it is a memory. Every situation is a passing memory. Just a few moments ago, you were standing in the hall and now it is a memory. But then it was so real.

Although you might think things are solid, they are like passing memory. All that arises in your mind - hate, love and all the rest - is not solid.
The key is, it's no big deal. We could all just lighten up. Regard all dharmas as dreams. With our minds, we make a big deal out of ourselves, out of our pain, and out of our problems.

If someone instructed you to catch the beginning, the middle, and the end of every thought, you'd find that they don't seem to have a beginning, middle, and end. It's like trying to see when water turns into steam. You can never find the precise moment. Everything is like that.

Have you ever been caught up in the heavy-duty scenario of feeling defeated and hurt and then somehow for no particular reason, you just drop it? We all know this feeling of how we make things a big deal and then realize that we're making a lot out of nothing.


Quite profound, I think. It made me look at my problems from a completely new perspective. It was when I was thinking about this that it came upon me that life itself is like a dream and that's when the rhyme came to mind.

Who would have thought that all these years, one of the great teachings of Tibetan Buddhism was also to be found within the simplicity of a child's rhyme?


pic of lotus courtesy of whitelotusaromatics.com
pic of dhow courtesy of yours truly *grins*

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Are you sure you don't have kids?

I was talking to a new friend today and we happened to get to the topic of having children. I thought I'd had it bad when people asked why I haven't had kids yet (they're usually quite interrogatory and pushy about the whole thing)

This friend of mine has definitely faced worse. Apparently when someone she just met asked her if she had kids and she said no, this person asked her, "are you sure?"

What kind of a remark is that? It's almost like it simply cannot be true that a married woman of a certain age does not have kids. There must be something WRONG with her, right?

After all, which woman on this earth could resist this:


I suppose it's easier for people to accept that such women have, in fact, had children and this has simply escaped their notice rather than to face that these women knowingly don't have children.

So weird!

pic courtesy of absolutepleasuregifts.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Self Praise is No Praise

I know I justified my long silences between posts by insisting that well-thought out blogging is better than fly-by-night kind of blogging but I've decided that I was talking a fair amount of crap.

Let's face it, blogging, at its core, is about recording thoughts and thoughts can range from the deeply profound to just plain stupid.

So, here I am getting off my high horse with a meaningless thought I had today.It's about cooking or to be more accurate, cooking programmes.


How in the world do chefs who appear on TV (and I include the greats like Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson) manage to praise their own cooking without flinching? They all savour their food in front of the camera and proclaim with much enthusiasm, that it tastes "delicious" or "gorgeous" or "simply divine." They do this in almost every episode and without fail I think how silly and slightly bizarre they sound!

I know, they can't very well put the food they've just prepared into their mouths, spit it out and scream "that was absolutely ghastly!", even if it tastes like rotting garbage. After all, they are trying to get people to try their recipes, watch their shows and buy their cookbooks.

Still, I can't help but feel that they're a little too quick to applaud themselves when they do it. Why don't they get someone else to taste the stuff and congratulate them fabulous cooking instead? It might still seem fake but at least it wouldn't be self-praise.

If I were to do what they do, I'd have to get in front of a camera, read aloud from this blog and proclaim at the end that my writing is "simply divine!" How absurd!

image courtesy of galleries.lycos.co.uk

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Woes of Keeping in Touch

Hellow again after my looooongggg hiatus.

I'm telling you, my lack of fluidity when it comes to emailing, blogging and generally keeping in touch is really going to lose me some friends!

I just had a look at my email (after about 3 weeks of not even glancing at it back in KL) and realized that some people who had been emailing me sweetly and regularly have now totally disappeared from the radar of my inbox. Even after I replied their mails!

That's the problem with people like me. I hardly ever reply emails or leave comments on other people's blogs (although I read them regularly) and yet I have the cheek to expect everyone else to pounce on their computers and hammer out comments and emails to me the instant I send out a measly email or write a post in my blog.

The problem with keeping in touch is the keeping in touch part. Emails and phone calls often make me miss people even more, not less. People don't realize that the lack of emails etc are by no means an indication that they're not thought of fondly or missed terribly by me. Okay, that sounds like an excuse but it's true!

Same goes with blogging. I love reading the comments (often just 'comment' without the s but I cherish it nonetheless) at the end of my posts but my lack of consistency must come across as a 'couldn't care less' attitude which I suppose is highly off-putting.

In my defense, I don't really believe in staying in touch solely through forwarded email jokes and one-liner blog posts. Jokes interspresed with proper emails are fine but some people seem to believe that sending silly jokes all the time constitutes a proper way to stay in touch with someone whom they clearly couldn't be arsed to sit down and write to properly!

One line blog posts are okay but isn't it better to read irregular meaningful posts that have been thought through than regular posts that are, frankly, just nonsense?

Right, sounds like I'm defending my irregular, inconsistent blogging behaviour again so I think I'll just shut up now!

Honestly, I really envy people who consistently and persistently stay glued to their computers and through rain, sleet, snow and storm stay in touch, stay online and stay connected to everyone they know and love.

I wish I was that good but meanwhile, I'll just have to bumble along and hope people will still love me despite my no-good inconsistent ways!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Good Little/Bad Little Blogger

I think whoever's been reading this blog (all four of you and one of the four of you is me!) would have realized that, of late, I've been a Good Little Blogger and posting quite regularly.

I told myself that if I was going to maintain this blog, I shouldn't do a half past six job of it (hey I haven't heard the 'half past six' phrase since my music teacher used it on me when I was 9!).

In line with my new goal, I've been leaving my computer on and writing whenever inspiration hit me ala Carrie in Sex and the City.

I must say that Carrie was onto something coz it has really helped me blog regularly but there's soon to be a monkey wrench in the works (I'm just full of stupid phrases today, aren't I?!)

I'm leaving for KL again tomorrow! While I'm all "woo hoo" about it, I know from experience that my blogging almost comes to a complete halt when I get back home.

What with all the shopping for essential supplies (let me tell you Body Shop is closer to me in my dreams than it is to me in Dar so I practically have to buy the whole place up when I'm home!) and meeting friends and family, I hardly have time to breathe let alone blog. Plus it's a mission to get online at home when I don't have my computer with me.

So, there goes my nice, regular blogging pattern. This means that despite my best efforts, I'm once again a Bad Little Blogger.

What can I say, the universe is conspiring against me!

picture courtesy of istockphoto.com

Friday, June 22, 2007

Totally Gross Behaviour

I was out with some friends a few weeks back when one of them did something that TOTALLY grossed me out!



No, he didn't pick his nose in public or throw up coz he'd ingested too much alcohol (although these also rank very highly on my Totally Gross Behaviour list). He did something that I'd never do in a million years - he picked a piece of chicken off the floor, where it had fallen and ate it!!!! Eeeeewwww!!!!

How absolutely appalling! Why do some people think that they're immune to all the ghastly bacteria, worms, insects, bugs and other unmentionables that lurk in the dark regions of the ground beneath their feet?



It doesn't mean that if you can't see it, it isn't there!

I suppose it's the same "nothing bad will ever happen to me" thinking shared by chain-smokers and people who practise unsafe sex.

Still, who am I to judge? People who know me think I practically have an obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to cleanliness (but these are the people who haven't met my mother!)
Besides, my friend seemed none the worse for the wear so maybe I'm being too much of a pain in the arse!

Besides, I think my bad habit of pointing out the negatives of not living a super clean life isn't going to win me any friends.

I remember when Trixie and I used to work in the same office and she'd walk around without her shoes on, sometimes. She wore impossibly high and fabulously wonderful heels that rendered her paralysed from the ankles down if she didn't take them off every few hours.

She was perfectly comfortable prancing around on the office carpet, all happy and barefooted until I pointed out that that was the very same carpet that other people trod on after going to the office toilet and stepping on pee or worse! Yuckity yuck!

She never took off her shoes again, let me tell you but I think she secretly wanted to choke me for ruining her blissful ignorance!