Thursday, January 25, 2007

You're So Cool!

I've just discovered a solution for dealing with the male ego. Its what all of womankind has been seeking since the beginning of, well, time.

You need just three little words and you will forever be able to deal with your man and perhaps more importantly, his ego (for those of you who guessed those words to be "I love you" you really to read on since this shows that you have no clue how the male mind works!)

The three magical words are - drumroll please - "You're so cool". Before you scoff at my discovery, please hear me out.

Firstly, I learned about this from a very reliable source of information on the male psyche - a Quentin Tarantino movie. Tarantino, being a man himself (although this fact is up for debate since he looks like a cross between a man and a chimp to me) has written many a script which has been made into many a movie that seems to appeal to men on some kind of primal level and has them whooping and grunting with glee.

If you don't believe me, carry out this experiment:

1. Place a group of men in front of TV set (preferably men aged between 20 and 50, the ones below 20 aren't men yet and the ones above 50 have presumably gained some wisdom over the years and learned what we girls have known all along - Tarantino is an advocate of meaningless violence and should therefore be ignored)

2. Provide beers to each man making sure that the beer to man ration is at least 4:1 (this is to ensure that everyone is relaxed enough to display their feelings since we all know men need alcohol to help them along in this department!)

3.Play a Tarantino DVD (it doesn't matter which one but Reservoir Dogs and Natural Born Killers are good choices coz they're two of the most violent, I checked with The Engineer)

4. Sit back and watch them relish every moment of said movie. They'll inhale every word the foul-mouthed hero/anti hero has to say and savour every second as they watch a head literally roll while they nod their own heads in approval.

I can confidently comment on the above scenario because I have observed, more than once, that a Tarantino movie 'speaks' to a man the way no woman can!

Anyway, I was sort of dragged into watching yet another Tarantino blood fest the other day with The Engineer, The Boss and Girlfriend (who is Boss' wife). It was inappropriately called True Romance . I think True Violence or True Idiocy would have been more apt but hey - that's just me!

Anyway the words "You're so cool" were spoken by the movie's hapless heroine, Patricia Arquette a former prostitute who gets married to one of her clients, Christian Slater.

From what I could tell, Slater was running around the whole time doing really stupid things. He'd go ahead and try to beat up Arquette's pimp even though she's warned him that the pimp is dangerous and quite insane. Then he proceeds to take a large amount of dope that does not belong to him and manages to leave his driver's license at the scene of the crime. That is amazingly stupid but what does Arquette's character say? "That's so romantic" and "You're so cool"

Mind you, Slater's character falls in love with her a little more every single time she says it. Nevermind that his head is thrashed in and that they're running all over the country with some really dangerous criminals on their heels, thanks to Slater's stupidity.

Nevermind that Arquette's face gets all banged up in the process and that Slater's innocent father gets killed. All she says is "You're so cool" and he laps it up! It was absolutely incredible!

Perhaps the part that surprised me the most was when the movie ended and I said, in jest, "I think 'you're so cool' seems to be the answer to every relationship problem." Both the boys present heartily agreed and a discussion ensued as to how pointing out flaws in a man is never going to get a woman anywhere.

So, that's my legacy to all womankind. Whatever dim-witted decision or ridiculous mistake your man makes, ignore your immediate reaction and the first words that come to your mouth which is likely to be "I can't believe you did that, you nincompoop!" Say instead, "you're so cool" and watch the love grow in his eyes! Try it girlfriends. It works!

1 comment:

DolphyN said...

omg...that pic is disgusting...but i totally agree wif u can be such idiots sumtimes when it comes to their ego....pffffttt