It has been a horrendously long time and if not for the fact that Trisha is my best friend, she might have written me very many nasty emails for abandong AAGW for so many months.
I have good excuses though! First was an incredibly massive work project.
Then my relationship came to a end *kaput* and I became - tada! - single again.
And so the last two months have been spent in the hedonistic fancies of running around and rediscovering what it means to be single. It has been fantastic enjoying that heady rush of Chasing Boys once again without that expectation of Relationships or Commitment or anything scary like that. Just pure, unadulterated fun fun fun.
Oddly enough though, there seems to be a sort of simultaneous a relationship avalanche around me and friends are dropping out of their relationships as quickly as flies. Friends are finding themselves newly single too, or seriously reconsidering the possibility of going separate ways. What did surprise me though, amidst my new found contentment and freeeeeee-ness, was the corresponding fear that everyone other one of my friends seemed to be going through at their sudden (or possible) singleness.
Girls and boys alike seemed terrified at the prospect of being alone again. For many, the weight of a tiresome and disconnected relationship is found to be preferable over being alone again. I asked everyone of them what was so bad about being alone (and then say, "Hey! Look at me! I'm doing alright, aren't I?") and almost always, they answer that they've been in a relationship for so long that they couldn't quite imagine functioning alone again.
I feel desperately sad that people allow themselves to be so consumed by the fear. I have to admit that a large of me was scared of the aloneness again, the not-being-able-to-find-someone-like-him again, but taking the plunge proved that it was much easier than I had anticipated.
Trisha once said to me, "You know, we always have these huge fears about things, but you'll always be alright! You'll SURVIVE! It's not like it's something that will kill you!" and though I wanted to wring her neck at the time, it is entirely true - we often forget how great life was before we even got into a relationship and how we were completely alright without anyone in our lives at the time. Sure, break ups take a bit of getting used to, but to be scared of them is only to underestimate our own strength and potential for living as best and as fun and as hedonistic as we can.
So I say, move on, move out, throw out his toothbrush and put on those new dancing shoes. The renewed lease of life is a startling change but it throws up many an unexpected surprise too. Henceforth, Trixie knows she's got the world at her feet and she's all ready to dance around them all! Stories of singledom to come soon.... that is if I have time admist all the new parties! Whhhheeeeee!