Monday, May 21, 2007

The Simplest Life

Warning to all Paris Hilton fans (and this includes you, Trixie!) : This post is going to be a Paris Hilton Bashing Session.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can say what I'm really thinking. I feel slightly awful about this but a part of me (the non-dharma, Aldo-loving, green-eyed monster part) is really pleased to hear that Ms. Hilton is going to jail. This is what I call The Simplest Life. What could be a simpler life than that of a jailbird? This could possibly be the first time ever that I've seen her without her plastered-on plastic surgery perfect expression:

Personally, I think she's getting what she deserves. I say this with not a small amount of glee but before all you Paris Hilton devotees hunt me down and torture my Paris-hating ass for talking this way about your Ditzy Deity, let me urge you to do one thing.

If you peel back and look beyond my despicable happiness at someone else's suffering, you will realize that it might probably be a good thing that Paris is going to jail. Think about it. If she's driving around drunk or high or whatever, she's going to end up in some sort of awful accident sooner or later. Jail time might actually discourage her from repeating these little feats of stupidity and may indirectly be a life-saving experience.

Besides, she's Paris Hilton. It's more than likely she's just going to shrug it off as yet another scandal in her overly scandalous existence and decide to turn it all into a profit-churning venture like a book or video or song or all three. Maybe she'll come up with a perfume. She'll name it something like Prison - the Fragrance of the Flagrant by Paris Hilton and it'll go on to sell millions of bottles.

I may dislike her but even I have to grudgingly admit that Ms. Hilton is nothing if not a wily witch when it comes to business and she has the most amazing ability to bounce back from the worst setbacks. So if you're worried about Paris, don't be. All will be well in Paris Hilton World sooner rather than later.


DolphyN said...

i doubt she'll repent after jail, if any. she'd probably come out from jail, get into her car, and start driving like a madwoman again because, duh, she didnt get to drive for so long while she was in jail....and considering her love for cars and speed, she'll be booked. AGAIN.

Trisha said...

Hmmmm, you might have a point there. Maybe she really is as stupid as she seems!

Paprika said...

I think the "jail" she is being sent to is better than the average living conditions in most Asian countries. She does look terrified in recent pictures though.