Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I Love Big Cities!

I'm off to South Africa for a holiday - woo hoo! I can't wait to get back to civilization after the , mall-free, fluctuating-electricity zone that is Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania.

Frankly, I can stomach all of that but what REALLY gets me is that this country does not feature Aldo shoes! Horrors!

I can't wait to drive down a real highway, walk around aimlessly in a real mall and take 24-hour electricity for granted!

What can I say? I Love Big Cities (this is why I'm obsessed with New York)

Ciao dahlings...c ya later *blows kisses*

Sunday, November 18, 2007

To be (a housewife) or not to be...

I've started working part-time, recently (this is why I've been a bit silent on this blog for a while). I'd forgotten how stressful it can be to coordinate with someone else's schedule and deal with the aggravating, ever-present office politics.

I found myself wistfully thinking of my days spent taking care of the home and then it suddenly dawned upon me.....I was essentially a housewife for the past year. A housewife... me! I was the type of woman who used to cringe at the very word!


Sure, I kind of worked from home, doing some writing but I had no job to go to everyday. This made me a woman who stayed at home while her husband went to work which made me a housewife.

This might seem like an obvious truth but it never really registered on my psyche. When it finally did, I had an epiphany: I enjoy staying at home... I actually liked being a housewife and I think more women should try it on for size!

My suggestion might raise a feminist eyebrow or two but what can I say? I stand by it.

I'm not trying to persuade anybody to stay at home and shun work just because they're born female, I'm only saying that women shouldn't automatically spurn a life spent at home (especially if you can financially afford to) and those who enjoy being housewives should be allowed to proudly stand by their preference.

As a rule, feminist types proclaim that they're all about choices which means they support a woman's choice to do anything she wishes i.e stay at home, work, work from home or whatever.

But I've often felt that this is just talk. Even the word housewife sounds frumpy; conjuring up images of a woman in an apron, her hair disheveled and her nails chipped. In reality, women who work tend to feel an eensy, weensy bit superior over women who stay at home. I know because I was like that when I went to work. I often thought: does a housewife really work?

I mean, how hard can it be to take care of a couple of kids, cook some fried rice for dinner and do the laundry, right? Goodness knows, you don't require a degree for that kind of thing whilst if you worked as an engineer, as I once did, you'd certainly not be allowed into the office without valid qualification.

So, I'm ashamed to say this but I often thought the stay-at-home women had it easy and were making a big deal out of their 'work' when they claimed that they had it tough as housewives.

Boy, was I wrong. I've since discovered that it actually IS easy to stay at home.....but only if you're lying on your back all day, eating out and allowing the laundry and 30 layers of dust to collect all over the house.

Like all other jobs, if you're serious about doing good, there is a lot of work involved in keeping a sparkling, beautiful home, your family well-fed and clothed on clean, nutritious meals and well-pressed clothes You'll also have to come up with menus for the week, do the grocery shopping, ensure that nothing runs out (like detergent or toilet paper). If you have kids, you've got to make sure that their school work is done and that school projects and supplies are taken care of and readily available.

Don't get me wrong, if you're working, you'll be saddled with all this as well as your job but the difference is that the woman who doesn't work can spend a good deal of time and effort on each task. It's not about rushing around just to get things done.

The housewife's job becomes a hundred times more difficult when she's trying to achieve it on a tight budget (which is often the case because the family is running on one income) I'm now referring to the average family and not the Datin-types who have nothing but time and money on their hands. To be honest, even the Datins probably face challenges running their large homes. When you have housekeepers and other staff around the house, you'd have to manage your staff to make sure that everything is done up to your standards.

The best thing about staying at home is that you're working all day to enhance the lives of people you love. You're not slogging away in some insipid cubicle under unflattering fluorescent lights for some multi-national company that, frankly, couldn't care less and probably wouldn't notice, if you lived or died.

At work, you get paid but at home you're rewarded: a happy, healthy family and you'll have TIME to spend with them......and really is there anything better than spending time with the ones you love?

You'll never have to miss your baby's first step and you're always on hand when your teenager needs to talk. You'll have a better chance of keeping the marital/relationship flames fired up because you're not working all hours, trying to get that promotion.

So to all those housewives out there who maintain lovely homes and take good care of their families I say stand up and own it, girlfriends..you should be proud! Besides, these days, housewives get to look like this...!




images courtesy of: momadvice.com and buddytv.com

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Other Woman

My good friend recently discovered that her brother has been cheating on his wife for the past 2 months. The first thing that came to my mind was "not again!"

This made me think but not about the brother.In my opinion men are not from Mars they're from another galaxy altogether so why even bother trying to decipher their alien thoughts? The affair made me think about The Other Woman. She is a woman after all so maybe I'd have better luck trying to figure her out but I eventually gave up. It's really difficult for me to understand why women wish to throw their lives away waiting for someone who is already committed to someone else.

I just don't get why these women never seem to grasp that men NEVER leave their wives for The Other Woman. I have never seen (or even heard of) this happen in my life and neither have I ever heard or seen this happen in the combined life experiences of all the people I know.

Does this mean that I have accurate, detailed, statistical proof that the Other Woman never EVER gets the man? No, of course not. It only means that the chances of turning another woman's hubby into your honey is slim..minuscule.....next to none. It also means that any intelligent, self-respecting woman would never allow herself to become The Other Woman and even if she happens to find herself in that God-forsaken situation, she's smart enough to realize that she'd better not expect a wedding ring on her finger - ever.

The girl who allows herself to be the fall-back for any man is not just eluding herself...she's pretty darn pathetic. I'm not being harsh - I'm being realistic.

We women only need to look at men to learn how not waste time waiting for 'the love of your life'. After all, how often does a man sit around twiddling his thumbs while his woman squeezes in a few hours with him before she goes home to her husband? In my mind, there are only two instances when this scenario might occur:

1. The man is being paid by the hour (i.e he's some sort of escort)
2. The woman is Heidi Klum

On second thought, I take back no. 2. I can't imagine, any man (not even the balding, beer-gut types) wasting their life away knowingly sharing their woman with another man - even if she is Heidi Klum.

This is where I get REALLY confused - don't these Other Women feel a little "eeeek" when they think of their men going home and sharing a bed with their lawfully wedded wives? Isn't that just a little bit, well, gross? It has certainly stopped me from even entertaining the idea of turning into The Other Woman.

I bet the cheating husbands assure their mistresses that they no longer find their wives attractive or that they haven't done it in years and that's why they're so unhappy with their wives or that they only do it as a physical act with no feelings involved and blah, blah, blah and blah. Hellow! Wake up and then get out of bed with the adulterer, ladies!

Everything out of a cheating husband's mouth is a lie and The Other Woman has more proof than any other because she knows that he's lying to his wife - about her! If he lies to his wife, a woman he has made so many promises to, what is to stop him from lying the lowly lady-in-waiting?

There are many reasons that a woman might find herself falling for a another woman's husband (which is forgivable) but the problem is that they act on those feelings (which is not). How is this man going to ever respect a woman who is willing to stand on the sidelines and watch him while he's off frolicking with his family, telling her that he needs time to get rid of his wife because of the children, the shared assets the sheer complication of it all and all the other weary excuses that may as well be coming out of his a*se.

Once, a friend of mine, who had recently discovered her husband's despicable, adulterous ways told me that she felt even more betrayed by The Other Woman than her husband. "Why would one sister do this to another?" she asked me. I had no answer.

Men tend to stand together and back each other up even when they don't really like their "brother" but we women, far from doing the same, often tend to play "each gal for herself" when it comes to careers, friendships and most often - men. If you ask around, you'll notice that men generally avoid fooling around with their buddies' girls at all costs. Friendships come first. It should be the same for us but sadly isn't. If you really look in your heart, how many of your girlfriends do you truly trust to spend time alone with your husband/boyfriend. Not, many right? How sad.

The truth is, after all our equal rights sisters have done for us, we are yet to reach equal standing with men who often say my "brother" comes first. You'll notice the 'cheating rate' in serious relationships sharply decline the moment we girls tell ourselves that we would never put another woman through what we ourselves know to be the worst kind of heartache - finding out that the one you love has betrayed you in every possible way.

....unfortunately,we're all still waiting for this to happen....