Monday, November 05, 2007

The Other Woman

My good friend recently discovered that her brother has been cheating on his wife for the past 2 months. The first thing that came to my mind was "not again!"

This made me think but not about the brother.In my opinion men are not from Mars they're from another galaxy altogether so why even bother trying to decipher their alien thoughts? The affair made me think about The Other Woman. She is a woman after all so maybe I'd have better luck trying to figure her out but I eventually gave up. It's really difficult for me to understand why women wish to throw their lives away waiting for someone who is already committed to someone else.

I just don't get why these women never seem to grasp that men NEVER leave their wives for The Other Woman. I have never seen (or even heard of) this happen in my life and neither have I ever heard or seen this happen in the combined life experiences of all the people I know.

Does this mean that I have accurate, detailed, statistical proof that the Other Woman never EVER gets the man? No, of course not. It only means that the chances of turning another woman's hubby into your honey is to none. It also means that any intelligent, self-respecting woman would never allow herself to become The Other Woman and even if she happens to find herself in that God-forsaken situation, she's smart enough to realize that she'd better not expect a wedding ring on her finger - ever.

The girl who allows herself to be the fall-back for any man is not just eluding herself...she's pretty darn pathetic. I'm not being harsh - I'm being realistic.

We women only need to look at men to learn how not waste time waiting for 'the love of your life'. After all, how often does a man sit around twiddling his thumbs while his woman squeezes in a few hours with him before she goes home to her husband? In my mind, there are only two instances when this scenario might occur:

1. The man is being paid by the hour (i.e he's some sort of escort)
2. The woman is Heidi Klum

On second thought, I take back no. 2. I can't imagine, any man (not even the balding, beer-gut types) wasting their life away knowingly sharing their woman with another man - even if she is Heidi Klum.

This is where I get REALLY confused - don't these Other Women feel a little "eeeek" when they think of their men going home and sharing a bed with their lawfully wedded wives? Isn't that just a little bit, well, gross? It has certainly stopped me from even entertaining the idea of turning into The Other Woman.

I bet the cheating husbands assure their mistresses that they no longer find their wives attractive or that they haven't done it in years and that's why they're so unhappy with their wives or that they only do it as a physical act with no feelings involved and blah, blah, blah and blah. Hellow! Wake up and then get out of bed with the adulterer, ladies!

Everything out of a cheating husband's mouth is a lie and The Other Woman has more proof than any other because she knows that he's lying to his wife - about her! If he lies to his wife, a woman he has made so many promises to, what is to stop him from lying the lowly lady-in-waiting?

There are many reasons that a woman might find herself falling for a another woman's husband (which is forgivable) but the problem is that they act on those feelings (which is not). How is this man going to ever respect a woman who is willing to stand on the sidelines and watch him while he's off frolicking with his family, telling her that he needs time to get rid of his wife because of the children, the shared assets the sheer complication of it all and all the other weary excuses that may as well be coming out of his a*se.

Once, a friend of mine, who had recently discovered her husband's despicable, adulterous ways told me that she felt even more betrayed by The Other Woman than her husband. "Why would one sister do this to another?" she asked me. I had no answer.

Men tend to stand together and back each other up even when they don't really like their "brother" but we women, far from doing the same, often tend to play "each gal for herself" when it comes to careers, friendships and most often - men. If you ask around, you'll notice that men generally avoid fooling around with their buddies' girls at all costs. Friendships come first. It should be the same for us but sadly isn't. If you really look in your heart, how many of your girlfriends do you truly trust to spend time alone with your husband/boyfriend. Not, many right? How sad.

The truth is, after all our equal rights sisters have done for us, we are yet to reach equal standing with men who often say my "brother" comes first. You'll notice the 'cheating rate' in serious relationships sharply decline the moment we girls tell ourselves that we would never put another woman through what we ourselves know to be the worst kind of heartache - finding out that the one you love has betrayed you in every possible way.

....unfortunately,we're all still waiting for this to happen....

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