The Eternal Struggle for me is not the struggle for liberation or truth and it doesn't have anything to do with finding myself and freeing my soul. Don't get me wrong.... I, like most thinking human beings, struggle with all these questions.
But my personal Eternal Struggle has been plaguing me for far longer. I didn't seriously contemplate questions like "who am I" and "the meaning of life" until I was in my 20s but my Eternal Struggle is something I've been grappling with since I was 12!
It is my war against my sweet tooth!
Ever since I was aware of myself as a girl (which happened when I was about 12), I've been conscious of my weight (sadly!) and I've always known that the one thing that truly stood between ordinary me and spectacularly svelte me is my darned sweet tooth!
I just can't seem to get rid of my sugar craving. Who needs drugs when there are perfectly legal sugar highs all around in the form of chocolate cakes, doughnuts, eclairs and other evil goodies?
I thought I finally wrestled the beast into submission last November when I became DETERMINED to lose 5kg and actually managed to get rid of 2.5kg. Through pure abstinence and power of will, I avoided the sweets for 4 whole weeks. A new record!
Unfortunately, I made the huge mistake of believing that since it was Christmas time and New Year, why not indulge in a few chocolates and a couple of brownies? The Engineer didn't help at all. One of his Christmas gifts to me was a large, beautiful tin of McVitie's chocolate covered biscuits, fittingly called Temptations...notice the tail and horns above the "O", I swear its the devil in the form of biscuits!
I took one look at the tin and thought, "what the heck, after all, 'tis the season to be jolly and all that." I'd forgotten the vital unwritten rule that the word jolly is usually preceded by the words "fat and...."
Just think about Santa! At lease being fat and jolly is part of his job description. What's my excuse? Whoever heard of a fat and jolly writer?
I just checked the scale on New Year's Day and discovered, to my horror, that I was back where I started. Holiday Hottie has transformed intoNew Year Fatty!
I need to lose 5kg all over again....I suppose I should just accept that it never ends!